(a totally legit) DB Prediction: Bill Cipher vs Discord
Note: We do not claim in any way to be associated with Death Battle or Rooster Teeth. We are just a dumb copy here to cover a.... Yeah this blurb's typical script ain't gonna work on this one. Still please check out our inspiration, the G1 Death Battle Fan Blog, for more and better predictions. Hope you enjoy the read as always.
"Don't be afraid of the unknown because,
even when they wonder into chaos,
Planets are born stars!"
~Hans Moleman
Since the inception of this blog, we’ve been doing prediction blogs for Death Battle match-ups that- frankly -are never gonna happen.
However we’ve decided to do something different and do one for the upcoming Death Battle episode
Bill Cipher
I hardly know her!
vs
Discord
Not the app
L’inconnu est, eh bien, inconnu. Que veux-tu qu’on dise ? Nous ne sommes pas des philosophes, juste un mec pathétique qui blogue pour savoir qui gagnerait dans un combat entre deux personnages. Demandez à votre mère si vous voulez en savoir plus sur l'étranger. De plus, si vous lisez ceci en anglais, si le RB Royal reçoit dix commentaires sur le chef-d'œuvre connu sous le nom de film des groupes idiots, nous apprendrons qu'au moins une personne a utilisé un traducteur en ligne. Peut-être aussi faire un blog entre frost et frosty pour mettre fin à ce débat pendant au moins deux heures avant qu'on l'oublie encore
excuses pour le français approximatif, nous avons utilisé Internet
Only the most alien, nearly indecipherable language for the opener for this matchup
Before we begin
Why are we doing this now?
Mostly due to the G1 blog apparently not doing this one due to some pretty valid reasons from what I heard through the grapevine. So we’ve decided to take the liberty of doing this prediction because who else is more qualified to do such a mind boggling matchup then the same minds who posted a Rankin Bass Royale blog in January?
Now sit back, turn your mind off, scroll to the winner graphic, then assume that who will definitely win the episode, and then call us idiots if it’s wrong or call yourself a genius if it’s right
What if the grapevine is wrong and G1 is doing a blog for this episode?
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Is it somebody's birthday today?
Yes actually, it's Shimish's birthday today, wish him a happy B-day in the comments if you want to, it'd be very much appreciated
Background
Bill Cipher
“Remember reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy reddit gold! Byeeeeeee!”
Bill was booooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddd of his home dimension, so did the only logical thing and burnt the entire thing to the ground and plunged it into chaos. Questions about what Bill's species looks like aside, he then went on kinda just wandering around, looking for a smart guy to trick into building the apocalypse-o-matic 9000.
And he found that smart guy in one Stanford “watches the big bang theory” Pines, and was so close to getting the apocalypse-o-matic 9000 off the ground but unfortunately McGucket just had to get permanent brain damage after watching Bill eat take out, ruining it all. Well there’s always the grand nephews. And the rest would make this segment go on for a bit too long and I have a life to live so, Bill won but didn’t, died (?), praise the axolotl
boom
Discord
“I am your god now, bring me your virgins!”
Want to know what's boring as sin? Writing, but according to this animal frankenstein, the most boring thing is making sense. So he’s decided to bring utter chaos to the land of Equestria, I mean what's gonna stop him? Some type of spell that turns him into a statue
He was turned into a statue via spells, fast forward a really long amount of time and he broke free
Are those the 7 chaos emeralds???????????????????????
Back into being a prop lmao, however fast forward a smaller amount of time and well, he got a damn redemption arc, and it went over well, sure he plays tricks here and there, but remember he is the embodiment of chaos itself.
Oh he’s immortal btw, and his pony friends are mortal, there’s sure no sad connotations that come with that fact.
Equipment
Bill Cipher
Cane
Snazzy little thing, can wack people over the head with them
Soup
Unfortunately there’s a Bill Cipher in it
Gun
After all these years, he finally acquired the weapon that will bring the downfall of humanity
Camera
Stop moving the goddamn camera Dipper you little shit
Caillou gets grounded season 2 intro
Caillou gets grounded season 2 intro
Pizza Delivery Boy cosplay
I think about that one AVGN episode where they got Macaulay fucking Culkin on, like how they do that
Discord
Lactaid
Despite his association with chocolate milk, Discord is lactose intolerant
Strength
Bill Cipher
-Him being summoned can cause earthquakes
-sdrawkcab gnitsil taef siht deppals eH
-Could destroy humanity with his “rhymes”
-Destroy a soundcloud thumbnail
-Him transforming could shake site 19
-Gave the Gravity Falls fandom so much brain damage they believed Elbam for a bit
Discord
-A single punch can cause a explosion (some patrick bateman gun type shit)
-Could’ve bit his tongue in two
-Humped a building, really hard, yeah
-Kicked a pony away in a bit representing the writing process of these blogs
-Can play around with a pony stone statue with one hand
-Tore off Rainbow Dash’s wings
Speed
Bill
-Dodged a command grab from a very angry Grunkle Ford
-Had one of those loud screaming png creature things in Gmod so he gotta be a fast fuck
Discord
Durability
Bill Cipher
-Took a kick in the nuts from Goku and was unphased
-Survived a MLP cringe compilation
-survived having spray paint sprayed into his eyes
-Can survive having his soul sucked out for the Funko Pop
Discord
-Can no sell laser blasts to the face
-Survived getting donkey kicked by celestia for slapping her ass in public
-Can take a punch from Dragon Bal’s Jiren
-Said head survived this trip (1) (2)
-Survived this fall (this was probably funnier in the comic creator’s head)
Hax, Abilities, and Techniques
Bill Cipher
Transmutation
Basically turns things into other things with no explanation outside that the character can just do that
Bill has shown this when
-He turned a phone into a pizza box with a time vortex in it (more on that in “before the verdicts”)
-He then turned said time vortex into a pizza
-Turned someone’s eyeballs into their balls, and vice versa (I’m not allowed to link this)
Mind invasion
As seen here
He can invade your mind, used as a point of evidence against him on to catch a predator
Reality manipulation
If that last two were to hint at anything, it’s that this is one fucked individual
Most fucked being when he manipulated Ree Ala Tee into doing some pretty fucked up things not appropriate to bring up in this VS blog, and honesty I am not sure rather or not we should continue production of this blog given the abhorrent acts of this crooked figure
Interdimensional staircase
That scamp Bill at it again
He can shove your soul down these steps, killing you instantly
Tomfuckery
Will leave you all Tomfuckered out
Bill (Black Version)
No, he wasn’t saying Reggin (of YT playlist fame) backwards
His most powerful form given we saved it till the last part of his H.A.T. section, it also hypothetically…..
I can’t write that joke
Discord
Laser Breath
He’s firing his laser
Nobody?
Chaos
Throughout my reading of his MLP wiki page, Discord has made continuous use of this “chaos” to cause weird stuff like
-randomly getting le epicly pwn’d and trolled
-Turn your mouth into a duck beak
-Taking away your ability to move
-The Vietnam war
Q
The form Discord takes in a rap battle against Sheogorath
Gives him the ability to…… idk be lamer than whatever star wars character parallels him
And no, not the Q from 4chan conspiracy threads or whatever idk
Feats
Bill Cipher
-Plays the fastest games of deal or no deal
-Said he wanted to kill children on the disney channel
-Made the bible
-Won the CFC episode (the only VS show that matters)
-Is the only person to shill crypto and not receive backlash
-Somehow always the worse implications on a kin list
-Also made R/Atheism
Discord
-Wrecked equestria so bad Rainbow Dash had to perform a universe resetting sonic boom
-Made a cult where the members were called D.I.Cs
-Went into Flutershy’s shed
-There is probably someone permanently traumatized by those weird MLP parodies
-”He is the only charater [sic] that became 3D during SWAG.MOV.” is on his HDD wikipedia page
-Fucked his best bro Wolflor
-Had a kid named Screwball
-Had another kid, this time unnamed
-Got stoned on national television
Weaknesses
Bill Cipher
-Lack of depth perception
-Also his eye is a major weak spot
-Crushing loneliness
-It’s a joke blog featuring a gravity falls character, so we have to mention Taco Bell
(Don’t look that up)
Discord
-Drinks a lot more choc milk than his blood sugar levels can handle
-Turning into Q is implied to make him no longer able to be on the battlefield after an undisclosed amount of time, so he kinda becomes a ticking self BFR bomb
-The “Not the app” joke was a bit too easy to make
-Friendship (something we lack)
-I’m pretty sure nobody on the blog actually sat down and watched an episode of MLP
-Said Ponies were for little girls in a 2013 MLP online parody
Before the verdicts
What the hell is a “Time Vortex"?
I have no clue, apparently the British invented it for Dr. Who, I think, I ain’t reading that Dr. Who wiki article to figure that out lmao
What the hell am I reading???
Idk anymore man, I just hope you at least laughed at one of the jokes
Verdicts
Mr. Bob
(Local and proud Underground Sonic vs Spider-punk DB 2023 ballot supporter)
My search history probably gonna take a week to recover from this one
Anyways who wins this very serious Bill vs Discord debate?
Good question
Now while this matchup can get very hax based, let's start off with stats
Well in dura they equal via Dragon Ball scaling
In raw power Billy Basin has Dissy Cordius beat
Well from what we’ve directly seen, given that statements that we have omitted from this blog for shits and giggles get them to around equal levels of destruction
Also Discord’s chaos powers counteract Bill’s reality warping and vice versa
For example DK’s strong kong could counter Hyper Knuckles
So it widdles down to Q vs Bill (black version)
Now this also can quickly come to a stalemate
Both are so unimaginably powerful and their abilities bounce off each other to well I was considering calling this a tie
However, what screw Discord over here is Q’s self BFR thing
And given both of them stalemates the other and if Discord doesn’t become Q then Bill (black version) would just wreck him
So the most likely outcome is Discord self BFR, leading to Bill cipher dub
Bill really did cip her huh?
Shimish
(A 100% man made prediction, yup, no non humans in the writing of this)
So Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls and Discord from My Little Pony are entering into a fight to the death in the web show Death Battle, now who will win? Here are my thoughts on who I would pick as winners of the fight to death.
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots
Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls
Okay so I could write an entire blog on Bill Cipher and how I felt about him at the beginning of the series, however I will keep it short. Bill is probably the villain that I would actually like to see die at the end of the series if the show never came back. His evilness combined with his horrific design would probably be the ultimate demise of the show, but on the other hand it’s not going to happen. I still feel that Bill deserves the ultimate demise of Gravity Falls, especially since his last words before the fight were to say, “Once I think it over, I’ll let you know, alright?” Okay Bill. Good luck with that.
So if I were to pick the villain I’d like to see die then Bill definitely fits that criteria. Bill would be facing off against the character who we never expected to ever get a good villain like Bill in the series. He was a decent hero at the end of the series when he stopped the evilness of some evil robots from taking over the world, however a villain such as Bill would be far more interesting than the robots who were mindless robots made to be evil. Bill could be our first villain to actually think and think in a smart way rather than just reacting. Plus Bill could fit in with any typical robot and make a badass robot (just like Discord did in My Little Pony).
If Bill didn’t die right away then I could see him coming back at a later time with a robot army if we ever saw some other evil robots, but I would like to see Bill finally end up getting killed in this great fight. As for his final quote, which was really funny, “Oh yeah, what’s up?” I’d like to see him spend his time in a nice jail cell, but once Bill Cipher realizes how sad he will be without the kid from Gravity Falls he would probably give us another awesome villain for the show.
What do you think? Would Bill have ended up being a more acceptable villain if Bill went on to live a life of his own rather than just trying to survive with what was left of the world? Or what villain would you like to see at the end of the series? Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on Death Battle.
Note: Bill says that he wants to fight with someone who is neither a man nor a woman.
All photos taken by Bill Cipher’s master at www.dreamhunterrsnsf.com/BillCipherThoughtItAllOut.com. Please follow the author Bill Cipher’s Blog at http://Blog.BillCipherThoughtItAllOut.com
Photos Taken By: Bill Cipher’s Master
Disclosure: Bill Cipher’s Master has no actual relation to Gravity Falls and is not related to anyone involved in the production of the show.
Related Posts:
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 2 – The Who Can See What
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 3 – Can I See Your Pencil Stand?
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 4 – That Smelly Pig
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 5 – Ponies are Good for the Soul
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 6 – Where Have All the Ponies Gone?
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 7 – Can You Still See My Cigarette?
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 8 – Mystery of Bill Cipher’s Eyes
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 9 – Why Did Ponies Always Have Booze?
Death Battle 2: Ponies vs Robots – Part 10 – Feel That Smell?
(You know maybe we should let humans still be the only ones writing these predictions)
Scumbag Steve
(Why the fuck did we scale Pepsiman to Optimus Prime?)
I dont fucking know man…Discord Ig? I dont fucking know anymore…
I suppose Discord just kinda takes all physical stats…idk If Bill can really use his hax before just dying but…I really dont feel like wasting time and energy on debating this one tbh…
We really hit rock bottom with this one
Sorry for wasting your time folks
Studio
(puhctam lamron eht etah I od dog yB)
Okay so
Discord is the only one who cannot say the N-Word.
Bill sweeps.
Okay but really this is a bit close. With stats kinda equal it turns into a power-slug. And being honest while Discord can rock it with his Chaos and whatnot, being able to stop time ain’t as solid as making a time vortex. Bill could probs negate what Discord tries to do. Turn his mouth into a duck beak? Cipher has no mouth. Stop you in time? Bill’s made a time vortex. Make war and other bad decisions? LMAO YOU REALLY THINK BILL’D BE AFFECTED BY OUR PETTY MORTAL COILS
I just think, given what’s on display, Bill has the edge regarding the power-sets. That’s not to include BFR and transmutation, which the blog hasn’t given Discord any resistances to. He could on account of his Chaos, but given Bill’s apparent better control, I just see him edging out.
And for Q vs Nill Gipher (I’m so sorry), Q ain’t done shit. Black has. So…
Discord could be the company Bill’s been wanting for a while. But I just don’t see him winning. He may have once been looking for virgins, but this time, he’s the one that’s fucked!
Ayyyyy5
(He has no idea he’s being put on this blog lol, he’s also a good artist, go follow him)
Well I don't want to really spoil them because they are both pretty good shows in their own ways and I would recommend them
But as a quick take, I didn't really find Luz as a very interesting character early on in the show
She seems like she lacked any kind of personality other than being weird and never really had much of a challenge other than being a witch and living on the Boiling Isles One episode in Season 2 even made fun of how she basically has no goals or plans after she becomes a witch
She gets better later on, but during the first season I didn't really care too much about her
Also I like to talk about the contrast in their first season and a big reason why I like Anne more than Luz You're probably aware of how they start, Anne being transported to Amphibia, specifically Wartwood, after using the music box, otherwise known as the Calamity Box And Luz goes through Eda's door and enters the Boiling Isles Immediately there is a clear difference between the two, and that's their situation It's similar because of how they're in this whole new world, but unlike Luz,
Anne doesn't initially want to be here She's forced to stay in Wartwood for quite some time, so when she starts to appreciate the people there and starts to warm up to the environment, it feels genuine and impactful
Whereas Luz wants to stay in the Boiling Isles and is in love with the people and the place in general She can leave at any time and go back to the real world, so there isn't really any stakes for her in that regard Unlike Anne who has to adapt to Amphibia whether she likes it or not
(Iirc he thinks Discord is probably gonna win the episode soooooooooooooooooooooooooo)
Overall
Tally:
Team Bill- (2) Mr. Bob, Studio
Team Discord- (3) Shimish, Steve, Ayyyyy5
Bill Cipher
Advantages
+Admittedly more violent
+Has a gun
+Was way easier to find stuff to reference for jokes
+Best buds with one of the cutest creatures under the sea
+Can’t lie (good boy he is)
Disadvantages
-His giant eyeball
-One good punch in his face would do him in tbh tbh tbh
-Being a redditor
-Supernovas
-Sans Undertale
-AI hates his guts apparently
Discord
Advantages
+Less predictable (You didn't see that being an advantage for starters)
+Is part lion
+Has friends
Disadvantages
-Q’s self BFR is a pain in the ass
-I’ve seen so many pony sex jokes while “researching” this that i’m going to hell
-G1^2 says he’s gonna die hard (wait shit is that a spoiler? Eh I doubt anyone is reading this part rn)
Actually on that note go read that G1^2 blog, it's a really great read, it even has a bunch of our friends on it
-Bob wants him to win the episode but still voted against him anyways lmao
Both
=In the holy stat trinity
=Mentally insane
Welp, are we right, are we wrong? Guess we just have to wait for the episode to drop to find that out
But for now, we hope you enjoy the new direction we’re taking with the style of matchups we’re doing for this blog
Now we can’t wait to see y’all for the next blog for the next time which is 100% gonna be
MOON KNIGHT VS BAT-
Ding-dong
Huh, it seems like we got a letter
We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter
I wonder who it’s from-
Damn,
welp guess we gotta get back to the usual, guess Moon Knight vs Batman can wait for another day
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